These are my last few minutes alone. I’ve asked the girls to wait outside. This is the day I’ve been dreaming of for so long. You are the man I love. Why do I feel like I’m about to make the biggest mistake of my life?

I slip out a back door, creep up the stairs and look down at you from the gallery. You are standing with your back to me. What are you thinking now? How are you feeling?Who are all these people?!

Dizzy, I walk back to the vestry and lock all the doors. Cold sweat trickles down from under my breasts and my dress sticks to my sides. I’m vaguely aware of my name being called.“Just five more minutes,” I call back.
“You’re already more than 30 minutes late.” My mother sounds anxious. I guess I can’t blame her, but I don’t care at this particular moment.
“Let me in.” It’s a man’s voice.
I go over to the door, open it just a fraction, and stare into Michael’s face. Why did we invite him? I know he’s your extended family, but after everything he’s put us through?
I step back and let him in.

“You’re pale, sit down.”
I obey.
“I’ve never seen you this beautiful. I knew you were pretty, but this…”
“What are you doing here?”
“I thought you might need someone objective to talk to.”
“Objective! You?” I sigh and tell him about my doubts and fears. I still don’t know how this uncertainty got hold of me.
“Only you know what you want, and what you need to do,” he says after a pause. “Do you know what it is?”
I get up; I walk down the isle still consumed with irrational thoughts.
“I do.”